By Dan Snow
I raised 5 great sons in Loudoun County, and coming from a career in law enforcement, I was always concerned with online safety. This concern has continued as my boys are now having children.
After retiring, I looked for volunteer opportunities where I could make some small contribution. The LAWS Upstream Crew, as well as the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, both provide excellent opportunities to spread educational tools to help keep our children safe.
Online safety can feel overwhelming because the risks to children are many, from privacy violations and cyberbullying to predatory behavior and the misuse of intimate images. But many of these problems begin when our children post inappropriate content online, often without thinking of the impact.
If we can help children recognize and avoid that content, we can reduce many of the risks that follow.
Some inappropriate content is easy to recognize, such as threats, hate speech, explicit images, or drug-related material. Other content is less obvious, such as sharing personal information without knowing exactly who it is being shared with. Teaching children to spot both obvious and subtle questionable content before they post it is one of the best ways to prevent harm.
One of the clearest messages we can give children is that anything shared online can spread far beyond its intended audience. A post, message, or image may be seen by friends, family, teachers, or future employers. Before sharing, children should ask themselves:
- Who could this hurt?
- How could this affect my future?
- How would I feel if someone did this to me?
Once children understand that they should think carefully about online safety before posting or sharing, it helps to give them specific examples of what to avoid. Online privacy is a good place to start. Children should be careful not to share:
- their location through geolocation features
- their passwords
- personal information
- questionable images
- private messages with people they do not know in real life
Teaching children to recognize online manipulation can be more difficult. Many people, especially vulnerable children, respond to attention, compliments, friendship, and affection.
Some individuals exploit that trust to lower a child’s defenses and encourage them to share things they otherwise would not. Warning signs include requests to keep secrets, withdraw from family, accept gifts, or send revealing images. Conversations with our children about these kinds of warning signs may help them to better understand the danger signs.
Children should also know that if they make a mistake online, it is never too late to tell a trusted adult. They need to hear clearly that they are not alone and that support is available. The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) offers helpful resources in these situations, and concerning behavior or online characters can be reported through its CyberTipline.org
Another serious risk is sharing intimate images with someone a child believes they can trust, or “sexting.” Our kids need to understand that those images may be forwarded without permission, used for bullying, turned into blackmail, or “sextortion.” It’s critical that children understand how quickly harmful content can spread and the potential impact.
A simple rule is this: never send, request, or forward an image that you would not want everyone to see. And if something has already been shared, children should know it is okay to ask adults for help right away.
If harmful content has already been shared, NCMEC provides several resources that can help. TakeItDown.NCMEC.Org is a free service designed to help remove explicit images shared online. NCMEC.org/IsYourExplicitContentOutThere offers guidance on reporting content and requesting its removal from the sites where it was posted, and NCMEC.org provides a wealth of educational materials for families on several online safety topics.
The more I learn, the more I share with my family, as well as anyone I come across with children who may be susceptible to online exploitation.
More About the Upstream Crew
The Upstream Crew was created by a group of caring adult mentors in Loudoun County who recognized that many parents, educators, coaches, and mentors want to have these conversations—but don’t always know where to start. Led by the prevention team at LAWS Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault Services, this workshop series brings together adults who care about young people and want to help them build healthy, respectful relationships.
The program partners with youth-serving organizations across the county to meet mentors where they are and support the important role they already play in young people’s lives.
Because when adults feel supported, it becomes a little easier to show up for the tough conversations that matter most.
